Heather Chandler: Grow up, Heather. Bulimia's so '87!

Heather Duke: Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?

Veronica: No, my life's not perfect... I don't really like my friends.
Jason: Yeah... I don't really like your friends either.

Veronica: My parents wanted to move me into high school out of the sixth grade, but we decided to chuck the idea because I'd have trouble making friends, blah, blah, blah. Now blah, blah, blah is all I ever do. I use my great IQ to decide what color lip gloss to wear and how to hit three keggers before curfew.

J.D.: This is Ohio. If you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress.

Veronica: They're all Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads.

Veronica: Heather says real life sucks losers dry. If you want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.

Heather Macnamara: It's your turn Heather.
Heather Chandler: No, Heather, it's Heather's turn. Heather?
Heather Duke: Sorry Heather.

Heather Chandler: Grow up. You think I'm going to drink that just because you call me chicken? Just give me the cup.

Veronica: I better motor, if I'm gonna make the funeral.

Heather Chandler: You stupid fuck!
Veronica Sawyer: You goddamn bitch!
Heather Chandler: I brought you to a Remington party and what's my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke.
Veronica: Lick it up baby, lick it up.

Heather Chandler: You were nothing before you met me. You were a bluebird. You were a brownie. You were a girlscout cookie.

Veronica's dad: Somebody tell me why I read these damn spy novels.
Veronica: Because you're an idiot.
Veronica's dad: Oh yeah, that's right.

Veronica's dad: Will someone tell me why I smoke these damn things?
Veronica: Becasue you're an idiot.
Veronica's dad: Oh yeah, that's it.

Veronica: This isn't just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.

Ram's father: My dead son is gay! I love my dead gay son!

Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing.
Veronica Sawyer: You're throwing your life away to become a statistic on U. S. fucking A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can think of.

Heather Chandler: They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.

Veronica Sawyer: This may seem like a really stupid question...
Jason Dean: There *are* no stupid questions.
Veronica Sawyer: You inherit 5 million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they will blow it up in 2 days. What do you do?
Jason Dean: That's the stupidest question I've ever heard.

Courtney: If I got that money, I'd give it all to the homeless. Every cent.
Veronica Sawyer: You're beautiful.

Jason Dean: The extreme always seems to make an impression.

Jason Dean: I like it. It's got that it's-a-cruel-world-let's-throw-ourselves-in-the-abyss type ambience.

Jason Dean: Our love is God, let's go get a Slushie.

Veronica Sawyer: I say we just grow up, be adults and die.

Veronica Sawyer: All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits!

Jason Dean: Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my locker combination.

Veronica Sawyer: If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.

Veronica Sawyer: Heather, why are you such a mega-bitch?
Heather Duke: Because I can be.

Jason Dean: Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf?
Veronica Sawyer: I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.
Jason Dean: Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean?

Veronica Sawyer: My teenage angst bullshit now has a body count.

Jason Dean: The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.

Veronica: I just killed my best friend!
J.D.: And your worst enemy.
Veronica: Same difference.

Veronica: She's my best friend. God, I hate her.

Veronica after she shoots J.D.: You know what I want? Cool guys like you out of my life.

Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell.
Veronica: Thanks, I just got back.

Hippie Teacher/Counselor: Whether or not a teenager decides to kill themselves is the biggest decision of their life.

Heather Chandler: Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

Veronica Sawyer: Heather, my love, there's a new sheriff in town.